


What's your name, snapback?

by MrsFlashBrightside



Category: National Football League RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Still football players, Cheating, Curses, Danny is way too cool, Drinking, Drunk Sex, Drunken Confessions, It does not have a happy ending, Julian is crushing harder then a 12-years old girl, Love is complicated, M/M, Marriage, Relationship Problems
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-09-13 11:59:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9122602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsFlashBrightside/pseuds/MrsFlashBrightside
Summary: Julian was definitely not harboring a huge crush on a dude he has never even talk to before. Despite what Tom and Rob would say, he was not constantly watching his surroundings ‘cuz the guy simply seemed to be leaving every single time Julian walked in (or vice and versa). He certainly wasn’t at the verge of snapping at Brady for mocking him for never getting to talk to the guy, always having some kind of distraction, in which he always lost the man to the crowd.Julian sort of blamed Destiny’s Goddesses for never getting to ask Snapback’s name.





	1. What's your name?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Julian crushes on a hot guy and never gets to ask his name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive me for any mistakes...  
> First chapter is up and I have two more if you want.

Julian was definitely not harboring a huge crush on a dude he have never even talked to before. Despite what Tom and Rob would say, he was not constantly watching his surroundings ‘cuz the guy simply seemed to be leaving every single time Julian walked in (or vice and versa). He certainly wasn’t at the verge of snapping at Brady for mocking him for never actually getting to talk to the guy, always having some kind of distraction, in which he always lost the man to the crowd. Truth be told, Julian sort of blamed Destiny’s Goddesses for never getting to ask Snapback’s name.

  
The first time he saw the guy was right after Rob’s draft, they went out for a coffee after training and of course they would draw attention. Immediately there were cameras on them and fans asking for autographs. Julian almost missed the 5’10’’ chisel jawed and pretty eyed guy, wearing a blue snapback and skater clothes smiling at something before leaving the store.

  
No matter what Rob would say, he wasn’t dumbstruck.

  
The guy might’ve been built as Greek God, with large shoulders, strong arms, an A class ass, light tanned skin and that mouth of his… Well, he wasn’t drooling.

  
The second time he saw the guy, he was leaving Manhattan beach on the passenger side of Tom’s car, two weeks later. He was pretty tired and leaning his head against the window, while Tom pulled his car out off the parking lot.

That was when, almost 15 feet away, he spotted a shirtless guy wearing only khaki shorts, sunglasses and a black snapback, spilling a bottle of water all over his well-defined chest. Julian had to bit his lower lip in order to swallow what would be an embarrassing groan.

He wasn’t one of those guys who believed in past lives, but looking at the snapback guy he was hit by the strongest déjà vu wave he had ever felt in his entire life.

When Snapback gave someone next to him a smirk, Julian quickly realized two things, while debating mentally whether or not to ask tom to stop the car.

First, the hot guy with the snapback at the beach was the same snapback hot guy of Dunkin’ Donuts two weeks before, except he was wearing less clothes. Second thing he realized was the fact he was doomed and needed to get, at least, the guy’s name. However, by the time he realized that, Tom was already off the parking lot.

Against all odds, a week later, Julian was at a Victoria Secrets event with Tom and his wife, Gisele, when Snapback walked pass them in such a hurry, Julian almost didn’t notice it was him. This time he was rather serious and if it wasn’t for the Celtics green snapback, Julian wouldn’t have taken a second glance at him. With a couple seconds of delay, he linked the serious man in jeans, a black short-sleeved shirt and a deadly sexy three-day beard, to Snapback.

He probably wasn’t in his right mind when his high (low) functioning (maybe not) brain decided to have his legs sprinting to the door faster than his runs on the field, only to find out Snapbacks had disappeared already. That was the day Tom and Gisele joined Rob on the Julian/Snapback (Or Snedelman as Rob insisted) fan club.

  
His friends sucked and he definitely needed new ones.

Fourth Time, 4 days later, had Julian believing in fate and hating whoever controlled it. He was in Vegas, for God's sake. He was supposed to be watching UFC with Brady and Justin Freaking Timberlake and having a blast, when it happened.

About two fights into the night, Julian had drink a bit too much, went to the bathroom. He was waiting in line when a low but sweet laugh got to his ears and he looked in the direction of the sound. There he was, leaning against the opposite wall 10 feet away, in a faded red hoodie, dark tight jeans and of course a snapback. Julian was about to walk to the guy when a young boy stopped him for a photo and again, with a flick of destiny's wrist, as soon as the boy stepped aside, Snapback was gone.

On the month that succeeded Las Vegas, those unintended meetings kept happening for Julian’s increasing frustration. Once in Chance the Rapper’s concert before the lights went dark, another one at a grocery shop back at south California, one next to Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum and that one was followed by the time Julian stopped his car at the lights and Snapback crossed the street.

Each time Snapback crossed Julian’s path he learned something new. The man had killer dimples (UFC night); A calm and low voice (Grocery shop); Knew how to pull a mean kickflip in a skate (traffic lights, but what are the odds the guy knew how to skate, that being Julian’s second favorite sport); Definitely worked out, ‘cuz damn, that body (Beach) and if the lack of rings on his hands meant anything he wasn’t married or engaged.

He was never close enough or fast enough (and for Julian that had to be something) to talk to the guy. Then again, what would he say? “Hey, my name is Julian Edelman. Yeah, the football player. I swear I’m not a stalker, but for the last couple months I’ve been running into you a lot, for some reason I never got to ask you what’s your name. So what’s your name and if it’s not awkward, would you like to go out for a coffee with me?”

**NOT IN HELL**.

Now he was sulking, looking at a living room full of people, a beer in his hand while Rob danced with another model, all because fucking destiny.

It all started one hour earlier, they were out for burgers in order to celebrate whatever crazy reason Rob was all excited about. After they finished Rob went outside to talk to some friends who had just arrived and Julian stayed behind so he could pay. Two minutes later Rob was knocking on the window beside Julian.

“Shit! What the hell, man?” Julian mouthed.

“PARTYYYYYY!” He was sure Rob was screaming, even though he couldn’t hear a thing. Rob proceeded to point to his group of friends, four astonishing hot women and two guys not that attractive.

Nevertheless, what caught Julian’s eye was leaning against a black old school coupé car, two cars away from Rob’s friends and looking at the phone in his hands. Snapback was there and for the first time without the snapback, his hair looking carefully messed up and looking hot as hell in a blazer and tight denim jeans.

Not a minute later, he was off the door and walking towards snapback, that for some miracle wasn’t going away. Finally he would get to ask the guy's name.

Apparently, destiny hated him and showed that in the form of 6’5’’ Rob Gronkowski standing right in front of Snapback.

“Dude,” Rob started, but Julian was desperately trying to get away from him. “Chill out bro. You will never believe in what happened.” That was when they heard a car unlocking. He didn’t need to take a look to know snapback was leaving.

From that moment on, his mood soured.

He wouldn’t be so frustrated, though, if he knew that would be the last time that happened.


	2. I got something we could start tonight.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Snapback is a nice guy and Julian crushes even harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SUP FOLKS! I'm Sorry it took me this long, but college is killing me.  
> My english hasn't improve and I still have no beta (#wouldYouBeMyBeta).  
> Oh, I didn't tell you guys, but every chapter was written to a specific song.  
> This one was "Snapback" by Old Dominion.

When his PR told him Danny Amendola, the all-purpose yards leader of the last season, would be training at the Athletes Performance Institute as well as him during the last weeks of the offseason before training camp, Julian was thrilled at the prospect. Well, he was excited for the wrong reasons.

The point was, he had only heard about Amendola and even Brady seemed to have high praises for the guy. With 2.364 yards, Julian, as a new Wide Receiver, had the guy on a freaking pedestal. Had he only googled his name he would’ve saved himself the embarrassment.

He was at the institute, running drills on the only indoor field with Mike, the sort of attractive, blue-eyed, blonde personal trainer the institute had assigned to Julian.

“So, Danny should be here in, like, ten minutes,” Mike said when Julian finished his first sequence. “You’re ok with it, right?”

“Yeah man, think I’ll be fine,” Julian playfully answered, while recovering his breath “Besides, there’s a lot of shit I need to work on and he might help me.” And he was off to his sequence again.

About two sequences later, Amendola entered the field and hadn’t Julian been with his feet anchored to the ground he would’ve tripped himself.

“Snapback” He murmured, eyes wide open. HOW COULD ONE HAVE LET SLIDE THAT SNAP-FUCKING-BACK WAS DANNY FREAKING AMENDOLA?

Danny looked drop dead gorgeous in a dark grey tank top, navy training shorts and damn, the snapback was back.

 “What? Are you okay Julian?” Mike asked when Julian didn’t answered his previous question. Had Julian’s brain been working properly he would’ve said something. Well, anything. But he wasn’t ok and he was freaking out and trying desperately not to show it, so he only nodded.

Truth be told, Julian was crushing harder than a 12 year old – ‘ _that would’ve been appropriate with your Justin Bieber hair_ ’ He could hear Tom’s voice mocking him in his mind. Suddenly he was aware that even though he was training, he had never imagined he would meet Snapback wearing a tank top, sweat shorts and a snapback himself.

“Oh,” Mike turned around to see what Julian was staring at and saw Amendola coming their way. He greeted Amendola that said someone named Kripke wanted to talk to him and Mike sprinted outside. Julian’s eyes never left Amendola while the other receiver made his way towards him.

“Like what you see, bro?” Amendola asked him when he got closer, his eyes full of mirth and a smirk on those pink lips.

Julian almost chocked on saliva, realizing Amendola was making fun of his nonstop ogling.

“Relax,” the Rams player said, laughing and offering his hand to Julian “Danny.”

“Julian,” he said shaking Amendola’s hand brief, but firmly.

“I know, I mean- I was supposed to have met you, like, dunno’ maybe three weeks ago.”

“Sorry,- What?” Julian blinked a little longer in order to adjust his thoughts. _How,- Like, what?_

“I met Gronkowski a month ago and he was all ‘God, you’re snapback! It’s really you’ and he took a picture with me to send to brady, but he was quite drunk so it was all blurry. He kept repeating ‘You need to meet Jules’. I was at that burger joint a couple weeks ago and we were supposed to have met that day, but I had a problem back at my hotel and I couldn’t stay. I’m really sorry.” Danny explained with an apologetic smile.

In retrospect, Julian had never been a shy guy, he was quite the opposite. He considered himself a really confident man and if he wanted someone, he would charm the pants out of the said one. But hearing Amendola, he was redder than he remember being in ten years. Julian couldn’t decide what he would like the most to happen: if it was a lightning to Rob’s head or a hole opening on the ground right beneath him and swallowing him to the depths of hell.

“Though he didn’t tell me why,” Amendola continued and Julian felt slightly better. Amendola knew nothing about his embarrassing obsession. “He just kept saying ‘naah man, you’re snapback’. Like that made sense.”

“Oh God,” Julian looked at the ground, praying Amendola would let it go.

“You’re gonna make me ask?” No such luck.

“Hmm… You want to know what snapback means, right?”

“Well, sorta.” Amendola shrugged.

Julian slowly inhaled and tried to find a way to start his story, but was cut by Mike’s return, demanding them to get started.

Through their first training day they laughed, talked and really hit it off. When the day was done, Julian was feeling much more comfortable around Amendola. Crush apart, the guy was fucking awesome, the type of guy Julian would’ve certainly hang around – and if that deepened his crush, well, Julian wouldn’t admit.

That, and that alone, was the only reason behind his offer for a beer.

“Yeah man,” Amendola nodded, reaching for his duffel bag. “I could use a beer and you can finally tell me what the hell Snapback means.”

“Don’t think so,” he said, heading to the showers and trying desperately not to think about Amendola two stalls away.

It was going to be a long, long night.

 

**************

 

“So,” Amendola started after a couple of beers. They were sitting at a table in the back of the bar at Amendola’s hotel. “Spill it. What is it that you guys have with snapbacks?!”

“4 beers are not nearly enough to make me feel ok telling you that story,” Julian took a sip of his beer and Amendola gave him a smile that weakened him in the knees and at the same time made him feel like he could spend the next weeks there just talking to Amendola and it was sort of scary for Julian.

“And could you at least explain to me why?” The other wide receiver nursed his beer before continuing, “It’s not like you have a crush on me…”

And, oh boy, Julian had.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, my english still sucks.  
> And also, the Athletes Perfomance Institute actually exists. I mean, that’s where Danny and Julian met, like, in real life. But now it's called EXOS. You can check their page at http://www.teamexos.com/


	3. Wanna burn with you tonight.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where they do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back? Me and my terrible english.  
> It's my first attempt to write sex, I'm sorry.  
> This chapter song is Fire meets Gasoline by Sia.  
> Also, some English mistakes are purposely made. Like when they're speaking, it just feels like it's natural...

Running his fingers through his hair, Julian looked Amendola in the eyes. His brown eyes were so dark and somewhat hopeful, all the encouragement he needed. ‘Cause if he was reading Amendola right – and he usually was pretty good at reading people -, his leaning towards Julian, the cocky smile and the dark eyes, Amendola was screaming ‘I want you’.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Julian teased, leaning towards Amendola as well, their noses inches from touching.

“It depends on what does snapback mean,” Amendola playfully answered.

“Hmm-, well, a couple months ago,” Julian sprawled himself on his chair, putting some between them again. “You know what, you don’t want to know.”

“I’m sorry, Julian,” Amendola said slowly and his name getting out of the lips that were giving him a cocky smirk sent chills through Julian’s spine “But that game of yours ain’t working on me, man.”

Julian’s response to that came in form of a cocked eyebrow and a chuckle. “Who says I’m playing?”

Amendola simply bit his lower lip and Julian’s eyes immediately fell on the movement, only to see his tongue sweep over his lip before saying “A player.”

“Ok, got caught!” Julian raised his hands in a rendition gesture, “can’t blame a man for trying!”

“Let’s do it like this,” Amendola said lowering his voice and getting closer to Julian again. He braced himself, trying to keep it cool, but his body was not answering his commands, already gravitating around Amendola. “You tell me what the fuck Snapback means and we can go up to my room.”

With that Julian could work. His cocky smile was back on.

“Yeah? Not a fair trade…” Julian took another sip of his beer, “I tell you the most embarrassing story ever, than we go up, have another beer and you send me away? Naah, thanks.”

Then from Amendola’s throat scaped a hot, low chuckle. He dropped his head, his arms still on the table and only his eyes came back to Julian. “What a play you pulled, huh?” Julian shrugged. “So here are our standards. You tell the story and Imma fuck you six ways from Sunday. You’ll be feeling me next week. You won’t be able to train tomorrow without getting all horny.”

Julian’s mouth went dry and the image went straight to his cock, while Amendola sat upright again.

“And what if I dislike the idea?” Always a player.

“Already told you, man, it ain’t working on me, Julian. I know the game,” Amendola ran his fingers through his hair, “besides that face of yours don’t lie. You like it. BADLY. Now the sooner you talk, the sooner you’ll be pounded against my mattress.”

Oh, well, that was exactly what Julian wanted.

“I ran into you a couple times and I didn’t know it was you,” Julian finished the last bit of his beer before continuing, “I wanted to ask for your name, but I never got the chance, you always disappeared or one of us was leaving. Anyway, I started to look around for any signs of you.”

“Really?” He asked looking a bit skeptical and Julian nodded. “You do know the US is, like, a huge country, don’t you, man?”

“I ran into you three times in California, four times in New York and once in Las Vegas. Never got to talk to you, though. You always had a snapback on and that’s the reason Rob kept calling you snapback. It was sort of a nick name, since I didn’t know your name.”

“And D’ya think of Snapback frequently?” Amendola inquired when he noticed Julian wasn’t saying anything else.

“You have no idea,” Julian answered and winked at Amendola

“You know this is a one night stuff, right?” Danny asked seriously.

“Couldn’t care less,” Julian said and at that moment he really believed that.

“Let’s go then.”

They paid and walked to the elevator, Amendola looking cool and Julian trying to keep his façade. His mind kept screaming ‘THAT’S SNAPBACK YOU’LL BE FUCKING’. His heart pounding heavily in his chest and his ears had that ringing of excitement Julian knew pretty well.

Every glance exchanged with Amendola, the heavier the sensation at the bottom of his stomach would get, and fuck, he was longing for the moment they would be alone at Amendola’s room. Julian felt hotter with every floor and by the time they made it to the 8th floor and the elevator doors opened, he had taken his blazer off and placed it over his duffel bag.

“Getting hot already, man?” Amendola asked fishing for his card key in his bag. Julian could hear the smirk on his voice and he would not let Amendola mock him like that.

“Nah, just don’t want to ruin a fine piece of clothing,” Julian shrugged than noticed it was useless, Amendola wasn’t looking at him. “Would do the same if I were you.”

“Pretty confident, aren’t we?”

“I saw the way you were looking at me Amendola” Julian said glad his voice didn’t shake. “You’re trying to play it cool, but you’ve been dying for it the moment we got alone at the bar.”

“You’re wrong,” Amendola said, opening the door and not bothering to actually invite Julian in. Later Julian would notice the room had a huge TV set, a hot tub and a proper kitchen, but at that moment the only thing he could see was Amendola’s fantastic back.

“Am I really wrong?” He asked, feeling cocky and closing the door after him with his right foot.

“Completely wrong,” turning around, Danny looked at him and his eyes were so dark Julian almost couldn’t distinguish his pupils from his iris. “Been wanting this the moment I saw you ogling me this morning”

Then Amendola was on him, pinning him against the door and kissing him like there was no tomorrow. That tongue inside Julian mouth was sinfully talented. There was no finesse or closed mouth kisses, only hot need and tongues battling for pleasure, hands everywhere and a trail of clothes to the bed.

Julian didn’t even realized they had been moving till he was sprawled on the bed in his back, wearing only black boxer briefs and Amendola was climbing up the bed on his knees, biting his lower lip, his cheeks red with exertion.

Just to tease, Julian ran a hand across his torso and down to his tented boxer. He palmed his hard cock, moaning. Amendola let his eyes follow the movement. “Where’s that cocky smile now?” He asked.

Amendola cocked one of his brows. “You surely talk a lot for a guy that’s going to be fucked ‘till he can’t walk,” then Amendola lowered his eyes at his own boxer and for fuck’s sake, that should be illegal. He could see the contour of Amendola’s cock through the thin fabric of his boxer and he was thick. The Rams’ player launched himself at Julian again, kissing his neck, his hands flying to Julian’s crotch and massaging him over the fabric.

“Fuck Danny,” Julian murmured, his hands wandering through Amendola’s body.

“That’s what I intend to do,” he whispered before kissing his way down to one of Julian’s nipples and leaving a red path on Julian’s skin.

The whole situation felt surreal. Snapback was Danny Amendola. Who was currently kissing his way down Julian’s abs and playing with the hem of his Boxer.

“Am I supposed to be careful?” Amendola asked and Julian knew exactly what he meant. Men with that kind of attitude were, normally, a huge turn off to Julian. But his husky voice, his uneven breath and those brown eyes almost black saying ‘I won’t be able to hold much longer’, had the opposite effect on him. His cock twitched and he had to slow down his breath.

“Shit,” He took a second to decide what to do with Amendola. However, just when he was leaning towards have him on the edge, Amendola got tired of waiting for his decision and pushed his boxer down just enough to free Julian’s cock and engulf it in his mouth. The next minutes were a blur of moans and groans Julian was not entirely proud of, but damn, Amendola was fucking skilled.

Just when Julian was at the verge of coming, his thighs tensing and his back arching, Amendola pulled back and the fucker was smiling at Julian’s frustration.

“WHY THE FUCK -” Julian’s enraged sentence was cut by a slap to his thigh.

“Am I supposed to be careful, Julian?” Those glistening lips seemed to be calling Julian’s, so he pulled Amendola to a kiss instead of answering.

“I’ll take that as a no,” Amendola said when they broke apart to breathe and Julian started to kiss his way down Amendola’s neck. Reluctantly, Amendola broke free of their embrace and got up. Julian stood there watching Amendola’s fantastic ass, still covered by his boxer, move as he walked towards his luggage, located in the corner of the room.

“You’re no fun, man. You luck you hot,” Julian started in a mocking tone. “Cause you sure know how to be a mood killer.” He looked at Amendola removing his boxer and kicking it aside.

“Oh really?” Amendola asked, returning slowly to the bed with condoms and a large bottle of lube. “You like it.” He winked at Julian.

“Maybe…”

That was the last comprehensive sentence that got out of Julian’s mouth. After that Amendola was all over him once more. Kissing, nipping and sucking. Julian was not sure when lube was applied or when Amendola’s boxer was taken off, but he surely would remember, years later how it felt their first time. It was rough and fast, everything and not enough. Amendola hitting his prostate with every damned thrust, Julian’s leg up his shoulders and their moans filling the room.

When Julian felt at the verge of breaking down Amendola was there and with no need of words or signs, he knew what to do. He kissed Julian hard and awkwardly jerked him off, never stopping his thrusts. They came at the same time, Julian in their stomachs and Amendola in the condom. Then Amendola pulled out of him, let go of Julian’s legs and rolled to his side.

After a couple minutes catching his breath after an amazing orgasm, Julian sat on the bed, decided to find something to clean himself. To his surprise Amendola’s left foot started to caress his own, so he smiled and looked at Amendola over his shoulder, to see the man sitting in the bed, his back against the bedframe and smiling tenderly at him.

“What?”

“Come here, Imma clean you up,” and Amendola fished a few tissues from a box on the nightstand, while Julian pushed himself up the bed to sit beside Amendola, who did a poor job of cleaning them up, just enough so they wouldn’t be clinging. He would definitely need a shower later, but Amendola pulled him close to his chest and Julian found out he really didn’t mind being in Amendola’s arms.

“You’re not thinking of leaving now, are you?” Amendola asked minutes later when Julian attempted to free himself of his arms.

“Shit man,” He looked at Amendola with a smirk, “I don’t think I can…”

“Yeah? And why is that?” His tone was delicious and his innocent expression – which Julian knew was just pretend – made him look like he was ready to be ruined.

“You and I are far from being done for the night, Snapback!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know nobody asked for this fanfic but I'm glad to write it anyway...  
> Thanks for reading it.


	4. Over and over the only truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Julian talks about their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back <3  
> This chapter was written to This Town - Niall Horan.

The thing about love is: it is not as perfect as movies, books or TV shows make it look like. In Julian’s case, it was as far from being perfect as it could be.

His relationship with Danny, or whatever one would call what they had, was messed up. He fell in lust and then in love and then the two feelings were so intertwined he wasn’t sure what he was actually feeling. They only saw each other a couple times a year and that was far from enough to make Julian believe he was in really in love. They were just friends with benefits (the best benefit Julian had ever had, but ok).

Then Danny came to the Patriots and for the sake of a good professional environment, they decided, after an amazing night, to cut out the colorful part of their friendship.

It was about then the jealous crises started for Julian. First, it was so subtle he almost didn’t notice the way his guts clenched or his hands closing into tight fists when Danny talked about other people. After a couple months his reactions were so strong he had to fight himself not to show or Danny would have his ass and not in the nice way.

_He knew it was love, just wasn’t ready to say it out loud_.

So he decide it was time to go out and hunt again. Fucking other people would get Danny out of his system.

_It didn’t_.

At least it worked to bring Danny Back.

The massive slip he had with Tasha, the tinder girl, after Super Bowl XLIX, brought Danny back at his door, despite the fact they were seeing other people.

That night they yelled at each other. Danny called him an “Inconsequent child who could only think with his dick”. Julian said he was a “fucking hypocrite” and asked if he thought Julian would have waited for him forever in abstinence ‘cause they decided they wouldn’t fuck anymore, to which Danny retorted he never said anything about them and stated it was all about Julian’s current lady friend. Julian simply told him to fuck off, his girl was supposed to be jealous and mad at him, not Danny.

Danny’s only answer was “Maybe I am,” and they fucked hard.

The messed up relationship was back on again, only this time they had screaming matches whenever one of them got really jealous, even though they weren’t exclusives.

Danny made that **VERY CLEAR**.

Their chemistry on and off the field was at its finest and no one really knew why – well, except for Tom and Gronk.

Until November 2015, when Danny cornered him in the showers after everyone had left and said he had found someone that made him happy. It took Julian a second to understand what was happening. While he had been thinking of confessing his love, Danny had been falling for someone else. Therefore, Julian did the only thing he knew when he got tremendously sad, he lashed out on Danny. They were screaming at the top of their lungs when poor Jimmy Garoppolo, whom had forgotten his elbow tensor, came back to get it and found them.

Instead of judging, Garoppolo had tried to help, even when they insisted they needed to be alone. Truth be told, when Danny said “Do what you want Julian, I’m done with this shit,” and left, Julian was quite glad the boy had decided to stay, despite their insistence, ‘cause he wasn’t sure he would be able to make it out of the floor.

They started a friendship that day.

In the week that followed their ‘break-up’ Danny and him didn’t exchange a single word. Actually, he didn’t even looked in Danny’s direction. If Tom, Rob or anyone noticed what was going on between them, they didn’t say a word and Julian was glad they didn’t.

At night, in his dark room laid in his bed, his eyes refusing to close and wearing the clothes Danny had left in his apt, Julian kept whispering “Danny, I love you,” non-stop, while stubborn tears fell.

There it was, out and loud, and it didn’t matter. Danny would never say it back.

Sleep deprived and tremendously depressed was his mind-state at the game that weekend, so of course it wouldn’t end well. He injured his foot. Badly.

What if he never got to play again? He wouldn’t be able to spend time with Danny, ‘cause he would never forgive Julian for being such a clingy piece of shit, who was stupid enough to mess up their relationship, mistaking what they had for love. Then Danny was there, crazy-worried ‘bout him and at least their friendship was not ruined. It was better to have him as friend then not having him at all.

_He promised himself he would be the best friend Danny ever had._

It was really awkward for the first week, but eventually the slipped back into their routine of texting every minute of the day when they weren’t together and Danny spent a lot time helping Julian with his foot. They became close again.

Tom decided then it was time to talk and for the first time since the week Danny and him spent apart, Julian cried like a baby. Tom had held him, murmuring, “hey babe, it’s ok,” and “let it out” or “not your fault”, while Julian sobbed.

He knew in his heart this time it was on him. Danny was too good to be charged on this one. He should have known from the start not to get attached.

“What you guys had made no sense Julian,” Tom started when Julian finally stopped crying. “It was messed up, that shit meant the world and nothing at all. No good can come from this kind of relationship.” He said patting Julian’s back.

“I was going to ask him to be just us, you know? I was about to tell him I loved him that day.” Julian answered looking at the floor of his living room.

Eyes widening, Tom whispered “Fuck,” and hugged Julian.

From that moment on, for almost three months, Tom, Jimmy and Rob seemed to take turns not to leave him Alone.

Julian began to master the art of hiding his feelings and even managed to meet Olivia and not kill her or cry in front of the happy couple. He introduced himself as Danny’s best friend and Olivia said she heard a lot about ‘the best friend someone could’ve ever asked for’. She was so sweet, Julian couldn’t find in himself the courage to bring himself to hate her, what made him hate himself even more. How could he be so selfish to the point of wanting them to break up when they were obviously perfect for each other.

In February of 2016 Danny and Olivia became an official couple and Julian’s soul died a bit more. He would never get to tell Danny he loved everything about him. Not the way he loved to eat silly kids sandwiches before games ‘cause Stephen got him addicted to it, or how he was as far from the quiet guy everyone seemed to think he was as the Sun was from the Earth. How his hips lied a lot – Danny couldn’t dance to save his own life. Every-fucking-thing Julian learned from the moment he laid his eyes on Snapback all those years before was a reason to love Danny.

He couldn’t ask Danny for more. The ship had sailed.

Now he was going to suck it up and be Danny’s best man.


	5. Echoes of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Julian thinks of runing away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup Guys, I'm back and this one one was written listening to Echoes of Love by Jesse & Joy.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_jgVodKRhU

“I take you’ve seen it,” Jimmy took a sit beside him at the hotel bar. His navy tuxedo fitted him perfectly. Julian was pretty sure half of the world would be glad to jump at Garoppolo and try to climb him like a tree. Not him, though.

He took a huge gulp of his scotch and nodded at Jimmy, but his eyes never left his glass.

“How you’re feeling, man?” The new 49ers quarterback asked. Jimmy was going to spend three quarters of his year at Julian’s sunny California, but managed to fly across the country to be there for Danny’s big day.

“How do you think I am?” Julian asked bitterly. He was the best man in the cerimony where the love of his life would marry someone that was not him. Later he would put his whole façade up at the wedding, but for that moment, he didn’t want to.

“Like shit,” Jimmy said in a dry tone, getting a humorless chuckle from Julian. “You know Dola is one of my guys back in New England, Jules. But that was completely uncalled for-”

Julian shook his head, “Don’t, - Just don’t James,” He knew where Jimmy was going and he didn’t need to go there… well, not again. Jimmy also knew better than to continue when Julian used his first name. “Look,” the wide receiver continued after a minute of awkward silence, finally raising his eyes from his glass to look at Jimmy, “I know what he meant by that. We had going on some messy shit. I know, you know, he knows. Y’all know that shit was truly fucked up. Danny just saw that first and found someone to brighten his days-,”

“Julian, cut it, ok?” Jimmy stopped him. “I’m not saying he was wrong in moving on.” He had said the same thing to Julian a thousand times, but every time it felt like losing a piece of his soul all over again. “Not talking ‘bout that though. You were too caught up in your own shit to tell him you loved him and we all got that bit. I was talking ‘bout the damn video with Olivia’s friend. He was sort of a jerk and you gotta gimme that one.”

Julian really shouldn’t be so inclined to punch Garoppolo as he was. The Quarterback was right, even though his whole being was yelling he had to ‘stand for Danny’.

He remembered every world from the fucking video.

*27 hours earlier*

Julian laid in his hotel bed, checking out his twitter when an YouTube link appeared on his time line. It had a thumbnail with a blond girl grimacing and Danny frowning under the title “3 TRUTHS AND A SHOT – Featuring DANNY AMENDOLA.”

He knew he had to click and watch it.

_A short, green-eyed girl wearing a Patriots Jersey with the number 11 was sit behind a radio station, with professional headphones on and the camera zeroed on her._

_“SUP STUDENTS,” She started enthusiastically. “My name is Helena and this is the life of a teacher.”_

_After a brief opening sequence, Helena appeared again._

_“If you guys have been following me for a while, you should know by now that I’m deep in love with the-” the image went black and white “team of male models, Patriots,” and there was heavy laughter before the color was restored “New England Patriots.” She continued as if she didn’t said anything. “If for some reason you didn’t know it, I suggest you to watch the video ‘Still better than 2016 Manning’,” She pointed up and a pop-up box appeared in the corner of the video. “I’m terribly sorry if you’re a Broncos fan or Payton Manning himself,” the image went black and white again and she cocked an eyebrow “I know you’re watching me, Manning.” The color got back. “No hard feelings, but I was talking about my awesome throwing skills, #Clickbait.”_

Julian, laughing hard, made a mental note to watch the video later. Helena was funny and he was curious about her videos.

_“What you don’t know, my students, is that I met and became really close friends with the 2012 miss universe, Olivia Culpo, which happens to be engaged to a certain Patriots Wide Receiver. After three months and a lot of blackmailing involved, I managed to convince my girl to let me borrow her fiancée for a video. SO, PLEASE WELCOME TWO TIMES SUPER BOWL CHAMPION AND HAPPILY IN THE OFF-SEASON, DANNY AMENDOLA.”_

_The camera opened up and on the other side of the mix table was Danny, wearing a tank top and a black snapback, smiling softly. He looked toward the camera “Sup students?” Then he looked back at Helena “Thanks for inviting me.”_

_“Oh no, thank you for accepting it.” She smiled at him. “First of all, don’t tell Tom or Jules, but you’re my favorite Patriots player,” Helena whispered._

_“Imma keep your secret and thank you again.”_

_“I mean it. I have like, 8 of your jerseys and saying that out loud makes it sound a lot creepier than I originally imagined.” They laughed and Helena continued, “Normally I tend to go with tags when I have guests, but we’re gonna try something a bit different, Mr. NFL player,” someone outside the camera range gave her a box and she placed it on the table, between Danny and her. “We’re playing 3 truths and a shot. We have a box with a lot of questions in it, you’ll have to take one and answer honestly.”_

_“What if I can’t answer?”_

_“You can refuse to talk about one of the four question with no consequences. More than that and you’ll have to take one of those over there,” she pointed left and the camera focused on a small table with red cups before getting back at them, “It’s two quarters tequila and two quarters beer and it tastes like shit. I took a sip from one of those, half an hour ago and the taste still hasn’t vanished of my mouth.”_

_Danny got himself a cup and smelled it, before taking a small sip and grimacing right afterwards. “That’s really strong, man!”_

_“I know,” Helena smiled, “That’s why we’re taking two shots before starting.” She proceeded to poor themselves four shots of tequila. “You know what they say, the alcohol comes in and the truth comes out,” she said before Danny took his shots, turning his face away from the camera._

Julian knew Danny too well to know his face was all contorted that moment. He suppressed a smile.

_Helena, unfazed, smiled at him, having finished her shot before Danny. “Come on Amendola!” She teased._

_He managed to regain his expression and look back at her._

_“Are we ready?” Helena asked pouring herself another shot and downing it while Danny answered “As ready as ever.”_

They talked about football, about Julian (Danny had taken a piece written ‘Bromance’ from the box and laughing he told her how they met, leaving all the sordid details out) and he refused to talk about Olivia’s Ex, Nick Jonas.

_“It’s time for our last question Danny, go on,” she gestured towards the box. His right hand disappeared inside the box for a second as he fished his last piece of paper, before handing it to Helena._

_As she silently read the paper, her face fell and froze for a second. “I’d like to thank my friend and Editor Jordan, for picking the questions,” Helena looked at Danny, a serious expression on her face. “You already refused to answer one question, so you can’t refuse to answer this one. But, I have to say it’s sorta personal, I’m fairly sure you won’t like to talk about this,” Helena gestured and someone got her a cup and she offered it to Danny, “you might as well just drink now.”_

_“Nah… I’m good,” he dismissed with his hand._

_“Your choice,” She downed the cup before continuing. “Last year, in an interview for People’s magazine, Olivia said you two talk about everything and that was a good thing since she didn’t have that in her previous relationships. That made us wonder what was your last relationship like? Why did it end?_ _You know, this kind of stuff.”_

Julian was so shocked by the question his grip on his phone failed and it fell on his face. “Fuck,” he murmured while fumbling with it. When he managed to get a good grip on his phone again, Danny had just downed a shot of tequila. He wouldn’t answer that, would he?

_“Oh, hmm- God, I can’t answer that,” Danny looked as baffled as Julian felt._

_“I’m sorry Danny,” Helena started, “You can beat Jordan-”_

_“No, it’s not like that!” Danny cut her, shaking his head. “I mean, I want to answer, just don’t know how,” He stopped and slowly inhaled. “I- hmm, before Olivia I was in a messed up relationship. I’m not sure what it was, even though it was good. Sorta explosive and thrilling, but also destructive and completely unhealthy. Then we ran out of time. Is it enough? Cause I may have to drink if it’s not and you’ll have to find a way to drive me back to my hotel.” Danny looked at Helena and she nodded slowly, her lips hanging slightly open._

Julian found himself crying, the memories of their last argument in the showers escaping the confinement Julian had for them in the depths of his unconscious and flooding his mind, like a starving man at the sight of a feast.

*Now*

“Julian?” Jimmy shook him lightly by the shoulders.

He blinked a little longer then he really needed in order to refocus on Jimmy and answered “yeah?!”

“I thought I had lost you for a minute, bro,” and as always Jimmy sounded so genuinely concerned, Julian almost wanted to feel better so Jimmy wouldn’t need to worry. Garoppolo truly was a good guy.

“I’m sorry –, I just –,” Julian trailed off and decided just to look Jimmy in the eyes. If his eyes looked as tired and sad as Julian felt, the Quarterback would get what he was thinking.

“Yeah, I know. Well, not exactly, but I can Imagine.” Jimmy placed a hand on his shoulder and got up from his chair, “I have to check out on the other guys, do you want me to find Tom or Rob and ask them to come down here?” Julian just shook his head. “I know you love playing for the Patriots and that you love the guys, especially Tom, but if being this close to Dola hurts you as much as it seems to us outsiders, just remember Santa Clara is only half an hour from your hometown, closer to Lily and a whole country away from Danny. If it gets too hard, man, Coach Shanahan is more than willing to offer you a place to play.”

When Jimmy left, Julian fished on a breast pocket of his dark gray tuxedo two carefully folded sheets of paper and opened it slowly, tears threatening to fall again. The first line read ‘To Daniel James Amendola, to whom I promise to love forever’. He looked at his own handwriting filling both sides of the pages with endless wonders of what he would say if Danny were marrying him instead of Olivia.

He folded the sheets of paper again and put it back in his pocket. Maybe it was time for Julian to get away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with me. There will be two more chapters (probably).


End file.
